Saturday, May 13, 2006
I can't take my mind off the inevitable. Why am I so obsessed with death and dying? Why do I always imagine myself lying pale and lifeless in a coffin? I know that I am going to die; everybody will die. It's just a matter of time. I know that I am going to say good bye when I'm still young, but I don't want to say good bye too soon.
Well, to be honest, I am dealing with a lot of emotional pain right now. Maybe subconsciously, I really want to kick the bucket. I don't want to think about death, but somehow I cannot shake off the thought. I still want to live, but a part of me wants to go. I won't kill myself; I've already tried doing that before. It would be a very stupid thing to do.
I have so much to live for. My loved ones are my number one reason for living, and there are more besides this. I do have my reasons for leaving, but they pale in comparison to my reason number one for staying alive.
Posted @ 9:24 AM
