Friday, May 19, 2006
I volunteered to be logged out early because I am not feeling very well. I am severely depressed and this has been going on for days. I have frequent crying spells and it is a big struggle for me to go to work. I think I should give myself credit for treating my callers well even when I feel like breaking down sometimes.
Tomorrow, I will be seeing a psychiatrist at Saint Luke's Hospital. My psychiatrist's name is Dr. Vanessa Cainhug. The consultation fee is P1,500 to P2,000, but I think a trip to her office will be worth every centavo. I have been struggling with depression since I was a child. I really need help.
Depression is not something I can simply pray away or combat with positive thinking, although it helps to have a positive mental attitude. It is a feeling that lingers despite the assurances and all the positive self-talk that I give to myself. Sometimes, I don't even know what triggers it. It can be debilitating and painful.
Most people who do not have this affliction do not understand what it is. I have been advised to pray, which I often do. Prayer helps but it does not take away my depression. I really need professional help. People do not know that this is not a feeling that I can simply shake off. The good thing is I am aware of what is happening to me.
I've been trying to lose weight. However, I binge when I get depressed. I crave calories and more calories. Perhaps it's my body's way of telling me that I need more energy. Besides, eating can be very comforting.
I hope that I will beat depression. I have been suffering for a long time. I have to take responsibility for my own healing and recovery.
Posted @ 9:47 AM
